My Sins against Gender Stereotypes

Posted on July 7, 2010. Filed under: Feminism, Politics |

I had vowed never to write politically charged  and controversial stuff in this space.  However, Nandini tagged me in one of her blog posts and I had to comply. Who is Nandini? She is a firebrand blogger/writer who writes unabashedly about feminism. She is also a mother of a delightful little baby and she is beautiful.  A feminist, a mom and beautiful? These words do not go hand in hand, but Nandini sorta makes them.  Also, Nandini is a famous blogger whom I have met in person! Yay for me.

Here goes the list of my wrong doings –

1. I did all my work myself in Engineering College and during MS. Somehow, I did/do not have the so called ‘feminine allure’ to get things done from boys.  I know a girl who cried (crocodile tears) during a viva to get a passing grade.

2. I detest Mini Coopers and other girly cars. If someone gave me enough money, I would buy myself a Mitsubishi Eclipse.

3. I do not believe in the patriarchal form of society observed in most parts of India. I live in the US, I get to visit India only once a year for 3 weeks. Now, since I am married, I am supposed to spend majority of that time with my in laws and not my own parents?

4. I do not wear mangalsutra. This is not to make a statement. I do not believe that wearing or not wearing a meaningless piece of gold can make any sort of a statement. It is because I hate wearing ornaments on a daily basis.  Once while jogging, the darn heavy pendant of the mangalsutra jumped and pricked my eye.  Other time, I was cooking, and this darn metallic thing became so darn hot that it scalded me. Since then, bye bye mangalsutra!

5. I kick butt in video games. Ok that is a lie! #win beats me in every one of those. But I love playing them all the same. #win was shocked to hear that I have played ‘violent’ games such as Doom and Wolf in my childhood.

6. I love ‘macho’ movies. Given the choice between The Dark Knight and 27 dresses, I would rather watch the first over and over again. I loved DDLJ and Love Actually, but I also loved Fight Club and Matrix. Animated movies bore me!

7.  I haul stuff. Recently, #win and I moved from one apartment to another. I did not shy away from picking a darned heavy chest of drawers, a ginormous mattress and a humongous dining table.  Women, you are so not the ‘weaker’ sex, and don’t you dare make excuses about your ‘weakness’.  Have any of you ever said, “Oh, I cannot do that, I have got period cramps.” That don’t fly with me sister. I will respect you much more if you say, “I am too lazy to do that now!”

8. I dress up for myself and for my girl friends. With my husband, I wear my most comfy pair of peejays. #win’s views about fashion are quite socialist-communist. He thinks that the entire world should wear the same attire – a silver  space suit with a green V in the front. According to #win, this solution will also eliminate the negative image women have about their bodies.

9. I drive. I know many girls who do. I also know many girls who do not. I do not mean to be judgemental, but I for one, do not like to be chauffeured around and do not like to be dependent on someone else for all my comings and goings.

10. I do not believe that marriage is the be all and end all in a girl’s life. I also know that loneliness is bitter and I hope that all of you, find the one to grow old with. I also believe that you need not go through a humiliating process to find a match for you. I know many girls who started going to the gym, because their alliances said that they are too fat.  I believe that you should work on your fitness for your own well – being and not for Mr. XYZ who may or may not be Mr. Right.

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