A Tale of 1.2 Reviews

Posted on March 8, 2010. Filed under: Entertainment, Funny | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

I had promised myself, that I will never do movie reviews in this space. But after many months of  laziness induced by my wedding and consequent binge-eating, the tide of creative juices is at an ebb. So the easiest thing to do was to write the reviews of 2 movies, which I saw in the recent times. I will not be writing anything that has not been written before but at least I can be mercenary and include buzz words, that will show up in the search engines that crawl Blogosphere.

Here they are 1 big and 2 mini reviews:

1. My name is U-Know-What.

1 word review: P-A-K-A-U

At the end of this viewing, I felt like I had contracted Asperger’s syndrome. I had all the symptoms:

  • Could not meet anyone’s gaze (because I am a self confessed SRK fan, and this movie was so pakau, that I was ashamed SRK was a part of it)
  • Irritation because of loud, shrill sounds – (“You suck, you suck, you suck … Liar!Liar!Liar!” and Kajol’s outburst “Jaoooo Khaaan Jaoooo” and of course, “My name is hhh(rr)hkkkhhaaann (from epiglottis) and I am not a terrorist”).
  • A splitting headache because of the ennui and the torpor that had set in (don’t know if the last one is a symptom).

There were many dumb things in this movie. But the most face-palmest according to me are:

  • 2 newbie reporters who are Google Earth personified“Arre Wilhelmina, Woh toh Georgia mein hai na?” According to Mr. hhhh(rr)khan (from epiglottis) himself, Wilhelmina is a town of 250 people and 800 cattle. And these reporters did not even require a second to quote the state, given a town. I hope I get a chance to ask them, “Can you tell me in which state the town Salem is?” (This is a trick question. Almost every other state in US has a town named Salem. However full marks and kudos to them if they answer Tamil Nadu.)
  • Racist overtones – This movie tries its best to convince us that all Muslims are not terrorists. But ignores the fact that all blacks do not live in shanties and do not have funny hair and are not fat. But since Mr. hhh(rr)khan (from epiglottis), suffers from Asperger’s syndrome, he can get away with racist comments like “Mama Jenny moti hain aur unke baal thode ajeeb hain.” Thank god he stopped at that and did not continue to say “Mama Jenny, thodi kaali bhains ki tarah dikhti hain.” If only Bhajji had suffered from Aspergers, then he would not have had to change his story from “Monkey” to “Maa ki”.
  • The dialog between the newbie reporters and the Sikh news anchor

Guy newbie reporter (aka pretty boy struggler from Luck by Chance): Sir, you removed your pagdi after 9/11? You are a bad Sikh!
Sikh Reporter (aka Parveen Dabaas): Shameful silence.
Guy newbie reporter : (thinking to himself)  Dumb$@%* KjO, by mouthing such silly dialogues, I will remain a struggling actor all my life, stuck with this stupid female whose claim to fame was being Genelia’s agony aunt. Dude, atleast you could have made Dabaas lose the hariyali on his chin. Daadhi without pagdi – still seems like a jehadi to me).

1.1 Ishqiya

1 word review: Timepass, paisa vasool.

There were many good things about this movie.  But the best thing I liked about it was the fresh perspective.  It is a black comic caper set in the hinterlands of India. Most movies that are set in the cow-belt of India are rather grim and depressing. The few examples that come to my mind are Prakash Jha’s umpteen movies, Shool, Hazaron Khwahishein Aisi, Bandit Queen. But in Ishqiya, the issues of casteism, misogynism, kidnappings, violence are laughed at, but in a self-deprecatory way, as illustrated in “Apne yahan to shia-sunni the, idhar to yadav aur pandey ne apni fauj bana ke rakhi hai!”

All in all, an awesomely timepass movie, though I wish things had not become so crazy in the denouement.

1.2 All the Best.

1 word review – Inane but hilarious.

I had zero expectations from this movie and that is why I enjoyed it. This movie promises to be inane and is exactly that. Of course, the biggest laugh provider was RGV(Sanjay Mishra) .  You pity him, because he is beaten up by Sanjay Dutt all the time, but manages to be calm with his “Just chill” mantra. In the end, he pretends to muster up courage by saying – “I care a Bhakra Nangal Dam(n) be!”, but I am sad to say, is again beaten up.


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2 Responses to “A Tale of 1.2 Reviews”

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[…] Memorable for the freshness of SRK and Juhi. Juhi is now a has-been and SRK is now fresh from My Name is Khan. Watch it […]

Dude I LOVED Ishqiya. Kya adaa hai woh movie ka! Aur mai to Arshad Warsi pe pehle se fidaa hun. Dialogues ke bare me to pucho hi mat!

“To fir appko pata hi nahi chalta ki mai pari hun ya tawaif!”

“Aapka ishq ishq aur humara ishq sex?”

Awesome movie!

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